Two Kinds of People

Thinking out loud this morning ... are you a person who puts people at ease or are you the one who makes people uncomfortable?  I can be either, depending on the situation, but I want to be the guy who puts people at ease.

I was actually around the uncomfortable kind the other night.  I mean, perhaps the most uncomfortable person I've ever been around.  The effect it had on me was it pushed me in the extreme direction of compliance and amiability.  Weird.

If you're the guy with whom people are comfortable, you're nice to be around.  And you don't get a lot of feedback because people assume you know.  They enjoy your company and feel good about themselves when they're around you.  In fact, chances are, you often find yourself surrounded by awkward people and awkward settings because people know they can count on you to ease the tension. 

If you don't put people at ease, you probably don't know it.  In fact, people are trying so hard to be easy-going around you because you're the one adding tension to the situation.  You're surrounded by folks with kid gloves because they are not quite sure how to take you.  The really bad news is, they don't look forward to interacting with you.

It usually boils down to how self-aware you are.  BUT not always!!!  My introspective nature might suggest that I have a strong sense of self-awareness and for argument's sake, I will accept that I am a self-aware person.  And sometimes, I know I am the one who adds pressure, adds tension, and makes people uncomfortable.  I won't go as far as to say that I do it on purpose, but I will admit that I am aware that I'm doing it.

So maybe there are three kinds of people :).  Easy-going people, difficult people who don't know they are difficult, and (the worst) people who are being difficult and are fully aware that they're acting that way!  It's a working theory ....