Trimming the Olympics Down a Bit

I've enjoyed the Olympics so far.  At our house, it's the kind of thing that's 'on' whether we're into the particular event or not.  But there are some events that just seem too oddball to be included.  And then you have some events that are just 'done to death'.  Swimming, for example.  I like what one guy said on the radio about swimming.  "I like it but what's the deal with all the different swimming events.  Just get from one end of the pool to the other and however you get there is up to you."

In 2012, there will be 302 events.  That's all the sports and sub-categories.  I guess that means, there'll be 302 gold medals, 302 silver, etc.  302 people who finish 4th.  Man, that would be bad.  For the rest of your life ...

"You were in the Olympics?  That's awesome!!!  How did you do?"
"I came in 4th."
"Aw.  So..."
"Nope, no medal.  Nothing really.  Just my memories."

Normally I would say, tough and deal with it but this is the Olympics, man!  Everyone should get a medal!!!  The 4th place guy gets, I don't know, pewter.  And the 5th place guy gets copper.  No idea which is worth more but it should go on down to the 7th place guy who gets like a cardboard sign made by some local children.  And the guy who comes in last gets a tee shirt that says, "I came in last at the Olympics."  Have some fun with it!!!

I'm off topic.  So ... baseball was played beginning in 1992 and discontinued after 2008.  I'm not sure why but baseball doesn't seem to fit the Olympics so I'm ok with it being gone.  Softball was also discontinued.  I think I would be fine with softball - the women playing softball don't have a professional platform, I say let them have it in the Olympics.  But this is about trimming the list some.  So without further adieu...

Of the 302 remaining events, I've come up with my Top 10 Events the Olympics could do without.  Actually, it was going to be 10 but I came up with 20.  Here's my top 20 list of events the Olympics could do without.  And if I sound like an ignorant American, just check the medal count, people!!!

#20  Swmming - I don't have a problem with swimming but the fact that there are 34 events compared to 47 track and field events is disproportionate.  Human beings in general spend like - 99% percent of our time NOT being in water so why so many swimming events?
#19  Field Hockey - strange, obscure, ditch it.
#18  Shooting - this one might be OK but they have 15 medals for shooting!  Which irritates me because that probably means there's a co-ed shooting event.  The odd number and all.
#17  Taekwando - don't really know what it is.  Don't really want to know what it is.
#16  Sailing - this should actually be #2.  I can't believe sailing is in the Olympics.  Truth be told, I've already done all the numbering and don't want to have to redo.  But sailing is beyond dumb.
#15  Judo - don't really know what it is.  Don't really want to know what it is.  Just have something called karate or better yet, just call it - Fighting!  With the exclamation point.  That would be a good event.  Plus, there are 14 medals given out for Judo.  Ab-surd.
#14  Handball - any sport where .001% of the population would even consider playing, ever, should not be in the Olympics.
#13  Soccer - It seems there are plenty of soccer events.  Plus, I don't need any reminders that we're not the best in the world at the (alleged) most popular sport in the world.  PLUS - it's really boring.
#12  Track Cycling - something about the weirdness of this sport irritates me.  It seems really arbitrary - just get out on the road and race, there's no need for this nonsense of going around in circles.
#11  Freestyle or Greco Roman wrestling - I don't know the difference but it seems we should just do one or the other.
#10  The Triple Jump - C'mon, we've got the long jump, we've got the high jump.  I think we can do without the Triple Jump.  I think I'd rather see Hopscotch.  It's about the same, really.
#9  Archery - I thought about it and I don't really have a problem with archery.  But if I took it off the list now, I'd be left with 19.
#8  Women's weight-lifting - I'm sorry.  I just...  I'm sorry
#7  Men's Gymnastics - I'm impressed, really I am.  But c'mon.  At least do something about the floor exercises.
#6  Shot Put - This is one of those things that just seems silly.  These people have devoted a huge chunk of their lives toward throwing a really heavy metal ball.  Hammer throw, too.  These seem like carry-over events that should've ... not carried over.  Into the current century.
#5  Synchronized Swimming - I don't have to explain why this is one of the stupidest things in the world, do I?  You may as well have Broadway Dance listed.  Throw Synchronized Diving in here, too.
#4  Dressage, Eventing, and Jumping - Unless you're going to give the horse the medal, knock it off.
#3  Beach volleyball - just kidding.  Beach volleyball is Awesome!  Kind of like women's weight-lifting but with different women and much smaller weights.
#3  Badminton - If I can set it up in the backyard and get reasonably good at it in a matter of 30 minutes, it doesn't belong in the Olympics.
#2  Fencing - I'm just trying to imagine the kid who says, "Dad, I was born to fence in the Olympics."
#1  Speed Walking - NBC probably won't show this because, well, they're embarrassed, I'm sure.  I've actually double-checked to make sure I was understanding correctly.  Yes, it appears speed-walking is in the Olympics.