Humanus Self-centricus

You know that old song, "You Always Hurt the One You Love"? 

You always break the kindest heart,
With a hasty word you can't recall.
So, if I broke your heart last night,
It's because I love you most of all.

OK, that's weird.  And in the world of conflict resolution, I'm quite certain that rationale won't get you very far.  There is some truth to it, of course.  But I feel like taking this apart a bit.  It requires some honest self-analysis OK?  Wait!  Where are you going???  Nothing to be scared of here.  All we're going to do is compare how we treat our friends and family with how we treat people we barely know.  OK, let's get started by breaking this down into the two groups ...

Winning is Also Important

I'll never forget an interview I heard with former Tech/Bama/Kentucky coach Bill Curry.  This was several years ago and Alabama had just fired Coach Shula.  The radio station did the obligatory Let's-interview-Curry-because-he-knows-how-football-crazy-Alabama-is story.  As I remember it, Bama had come out the prior week and said Shula was going to be their coach for at least another year.

Then, Auburn beat Bama.  Again.

It is just different in Alabama.  Winning is bigger and losing is bigger.  It's more important.  More important than anywhere else, I think.  I speak only from third person experience. 

Losing is Important

I am talking to you.  You're the parent who will rig the system so that your kid - no matter what - doesn't lose.  And if he/she does happen to lose despite all your efforts, you spin it so that he/she won't get his/her poor little feelings hurt.

I am also talking to myself.  (that's the youngest, Annie)

We live in a house of competitors.  I've noticed that the kids have picked up on the importance of winning.  I admit, they've learned that from Mom and me, in addition to the natural way that kids pick up on these things.  Unfortunately, though I've matured through the years, a loss can affect my day in a negative way and people around me are usually able to tell!