These Song Lyrics Deserve Attention

I've been busy, but not THAT busy.  I forgot about Dude Meanders.  My bad.

I do have an issue that must be blogged.  There is a guy out there who is putting songs on country radio and I think the fact that these songs are popular is unmistakable evidence that we are a culture in decline.  Before I take a look at some specifics, I must be positive for a moment.

My nine year old, Annie, recently said, "How can someone so cute sing such terrible songs?"  The fact that she recognizes how bad they are gives me hope.  It also gave me hope that when I typed into Google, "luke bryan stup", the all-knowing search engine finished my thought for me.  In other words, there have been enough people so bewildered by this intellectually insulting garbage, Google recognizes and finishes the search, "luke bryan stupid lyrics".

Hey I’m a country man, a city boy can’t do the things I can
I can grow my own groceries and salt cure a ham
Hey baby I’m a country man

Besides this being a rip off of Hank Jr.'s "Country Boy Can Survive", what's missing here is any sense of irony.  You always got a sense that Jr. or (picking another example here) Dwight Yoakum were doing some of this stuff tongue in cheek.  A nod to a genre sort of approach.  Luke takes the 'other' approach that seems to say, 'I'm REALLY a dumb redneck.'  And c'mon ... you can grow your own groceries?  So you're growing pop tarts and Pringles?  Makes me wonder if you really can salt cure a ham.

We’ll I’ve been, sittin’ here, waitin’ on a deer
Drinkin’ beer and wastin’ bullets

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, 'really, dude?  Looking to country music for intellectual stimulation?'  Well, no, of course not.  But I'm not trying to kill my brain cells either and that's how bad this drivel is. 

Stuff like this reverses all the redneck good will that Duck Dynasty has been accumulating.  On the surface, these songs seem to be celebrating small town life ala Mayberry from the Andy Griffith show.  However, there's something else here.  A trashy redneck 'quality' that's almost being celebrated too.  It's like this.  You've always had to take it with a grain of salt, this nostalgic, romanticized version of small town life.  If you've been around awhile, you understand that there's some really bad stuff that goes on in these places.  Among other things, there's a tremendous, almost scary, lack of self-awareness in the menfolk and it often manifests itself in angry, dark, and even violent ways.  Think the hometown hero who never leaves and the touchdown he scores in the region championship turns out to be the high point of his life.  Sure he's hunting deer and having a good time.  But what he'd really like to do is put a bullet in those people who have actually done something with their lives.

These songs touch on the fringe of these things and almost ... almost ... celebrate them.  Maybe I'm making too much.  Still ...

Girl you make my speakers go "BOOM BOOM"
 
Huh?  I hear this and wonder if the constituents here have ever finished reading a book. 

My favorite ...

Shake it for the birds
shake it for the bees
shake it for the catfish swimming down deep in the creek 
for the crickets and the critters and the squirrels
shake it for the moon shake it for me girl
Country girl shake it for me girl shake it for me girl shake it for me
Country girl shake it for me girl shake it for me girl shake it for me

I asked myself, what does it take to compose such words and put them to song?  Three things, I think.
1.  5 minutes, give or take
2.  Understanding that the listening public is approaching absolute zero
3.  No artistic credibility whatsoever